Week 4

    Good afternoon.  Hope your week is going well.

 Today we will review the autobiographical essay (#2), the practice sentence work, and get to the summary work slated for this week. 

Note, during readings please give each writer your undivided attention and constructive feedback.   We'll look at the soundness of the narrative structure in terms of the plot (clear conflict, development, crisis/climax) and rendering of setting, scene, and character specifics (autobiographical self-portrait);  at the use of descriptive imagery to reveal place, incident, character, feeling drama; and at the overall unity and development of  the piece (clearly implied or stated thesis idea); lead-ins and conclusions, and the fluency of the sentence elements.

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Island Cities                  by John Updike You see them from airplanes, nameless green islands in the oceanic, rectilinear plains, twenty or thirty blocks, compact, but with everything needed visibly in place— the high-school playing fields, the swatch of park along the crooked river, the feeder highways, the main drag like a zipper, outlying malls sliced from dirt-colored cakes of plowed farmland. Small lives, we think—pat, flat—in such tight grids. But, much like brains with every crease CAT-scanned, these cities keep their secrets: vagaries of the spirit, groundwater that floods the nearby quarries and turns them skyey blue, dewdrops of longing, jewels, boxed in these blocks.

Remember,  a composition of even a single paragraph must organize itself around an idea, stated or implied, which is the thesis or topic idea.

What is a thesis? A thesis is a single sentence statement of the point you intend to describe, explain, illustrate, argue or prove. Where is the thesis to be found? Typically, by convention, teachers ask that it appear by the last line of the opening paragraph. It thus provides a focus and a clear direction and means of selection, for whatever does not in some way help to advance the thesis idea, may not belong in the essay at all. When you and your readers know what your point is, you and they can follow the logic of your development, the order and arrangement of supporting topics and personal commentary. It is a good idea to have a draft statement of your thesis in view so that you stay on point as you draft the essay. Build key words into the thesis statement to provide you and readers references to what lies ahead. A thesis controls to some extent what will appear in the essay and creates an obligation on your part to follow through on its promise, for it creates an expectation.

--------------------------------------Five Types of Conclusions:

• Summary
• Callback
• Thematic
• Encouraging
• Quotation

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With today's summary work (#3) we practice one aspect of what is called "critical reading" which is one component of research, and which includes correctly identifying the key information, arguments or claims and crucial topical support of a given report, article, or essay source.  When researching a subject, one must determine a source's relevance and reliability and its effective contribution to the particular research objective.  We must ask, is the report based on reliable and relevant evidence?  Does it derive from a reporter's first-person experience or eye-witness observation and include telling facts, examples, arguments or expert testimonials ?  Is the piece compelling, strong, complete, unbiased, up to date?  Sources that present little in the way of evidence or insight or little that is convincing or those that are no longer timely and relevant may be of little use.  So we search for material that contributes to our understanding in key ways and that may contribute to whatever larger purpose in our research work.

The summary work today does not require you have a thesis or provide any sort of response or evaluation.  It does require you articulate the thesis of the piece summarized.  I will be looking for your accurate capture of the key idea and its means of development and support, including several direct quotations.  You must be careful not to plagiarize (see note below).  

The article you read and summarize today will be one you use as a stepping stone or launch to an essay on a related topic that makes use of three sources or more.

In this subsequent assignment (#4), you will use the Internet to pull together sources for an essay piece   that builds from its sources.  In the course of composing, you will have to summarize or paraphrase source ideas, which means putting the ideas into your own words in brief or in about the same number of words as the original.  You will also quote directly, which means using the exact wording of the original passage and using quotation marks around the material.  

Summary Exercise for Homework (#3):   summarize briefly "This Is Your Brain on Drugs," by Abigail Sullivan Moore,the article referenced below ( in 250-300 words). Use third person point of view. Do not include your opinions or any information or content not in the subject text.  Incorporate two or three direct quotations to illustrate key elements of the original.   Follow the format guidelines discussed and illustrated in the handout passed out in class. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/02/education/edlife/this-is-your-brain-on-drugs-marijuana-adults-teens.html?src=me

Alternate:  http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/30/want-to-be-more-creative-take-a-walk/?src=xps

Select material for quotation on the following bases:

   * the wording is particularly memorable, to the point, and not easily paraphrased

   * the passage expresses an author’s or expert’s direct opinion that  you want to emphasize

   * the passage provides example of the range of perspective

   * the passage provides a constrasting or opposing view

Format quotations according to the following guidelines:

       Brief quotations of no more than three lines should be worked into the text within the usual margins from left to right, and enclosed by quotation marks. Use a signal phrase or tagline to introduce them, followed by a colon or comma. 

       Longer passages, four lines and more, should be set off in block format, indented and aligned 10 spaces from the left margin, with no quotation marks but those that may be internal to the passage itself.

Examples of Summary with Supporting Quotations:  

        "In the Arcadian Woods," by George Makari, a psychoanalyst, he reveals that it is no easy matter to diagnose the specific cause or source of an individual's anxiety, for it is a "quintessential mind-body phenomenon" with complex roots scientists have yet to unravel.  Since the 17th century, when the first modern medical descriptions of anxiety were recorded, the mystery has only deepened:

   Anxiety disorders are now associated with complex epigenetic models, the transgenerational          transmission of trauma, a neuroscience for fear conditioning, and even a pediatric infectious  illness that triggers auto-immune mechanisms and results in obsessive compulsive disorder.  

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 from “An Ocean of Plastic” (full text available on the web):

       In the article “An Ocean of Plastic,” Kitt Doucette describes the threat of plastic to all marine life and, perhaps, human life, too: “Even small organisms like jellyfish, lanternfish and zooplankton have started to ingest tiny bits of plastic. These species, the very foundation of the oceanic food web, are becoming saturated with plastic, which may be passed further up the food chain.”  The fish we eat, he emphasizes, may contain the residues of these ingested plastic particles, and thus may pose health risks. He explains in more detail below, citing also the authority of a leading marine biologist:

[. . .] the chemical toxins concentrated in the [plastic] waste lodge themselves in the animals’ fatty tissues, accumulating at ever increasing levels the higher you go up the food chain. It isn’t clear yet if these chemicals are reaching humans, but PCB’s and DDT are know to disrupt reproduction in marine mammals. In humans they have been linked to liver damage, skin lesions, and cancer. “The possibility of more and more creatures ingesting plastics that contain concentrated pollutants is real and quite disturbing,” says Richard Thompson, a British marine biologist who has been studying microplastics for 20 years.

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The source title and author, be it an article or essay in a magazine or newspaper or that of a website from which you summarize or borrow material, should be identified at the outset in your introduction or first use of the material. The year or date of such information should be recent, or otherwise noted.  Use brackets [ ] around any material you add for the sake of clarity or any necessary change to the original, such as a verb tense, a pronoun, or an ellipsis (to abbreviate the length of the passage). 

Reference to the particular source material by title and author and the purposeful use of direct quotation where warranted are requirements.  We will practice referencing and quoting from various textual sources as needed.  The following list gives examples of suitable taglines to introduce quotations:

Deani writes, . . .

As Dean says,

According to another authority, author of . . .

Makari, the author of "In the Arcadian Woods," suggests a different view, claiming . . .

*Note:  Plagiarism is theft of another's work, whether inadvertent or not.  The following is one textbook example of plagiarism (The Brief Bedford Reader, 9th ed.) :

Original passage:  If we are collectively judged by how we treat immigrants–those who appear to be 'other' but will in a generation be 'us'–we are not in very good shape.

Paraphrase (plagiarised):  The author argues that if we are judged as a group by how we treat immigrants–those who seem to different but eventually will be the same–we are in bad shape.

A paraphrase or summary must express the original freshly; it is not enough to make superficial changes to the wording here and there.  Moreover, the syntax–sentence structure– should not mirror the original.

The following URL illustrates the ways that quotations are presented and punctuated, along with whatever citations may be required:  http://www.writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/QPA_quoting.html

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Week 3

  If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is. 

― Charles Bukowski, Factotum

Good morning, class.  Today we'll spend the period reviewing the particulars of essay 2, narrative elements, continue sentence work, and then on to summary work, including direct quotation and paraphrase.  We'll use content from the handout examples distributed last week (I hope you brought them!).

Assignment Review #2:  Narration is the primary organizational mode to be used in assignment #2.  The essay is due at the start of class next week:  5oo words minimum, titled, autobiographical, descriptive imagery (memory list required),  organized around a conflict (personal story/theme) that extends from the present back into the past and back again to the present and to you today.  Some key reference (like the teapot in "The Dime-Store Teapot") ought to appear, as a symbol, a memento, a correlate of the theme(s) your story brings to life.  

Narrative mode pulls together the basic elements of story:  character, with whatever history and personality traits and motivation allow for insight into the action and experience at the heart of the various characters' thoughts and actions; plot, the arranged action/events/scenes that trigger and show he development of a certain conflict ; setting, which brings a clear sense of time and place and the force the two exert;  narrative point of view, the perspective of the storyteller or narrator; and theme, the idea(s) put into play by all the elements together, whether of innocence, experience, youth, age, promise, loss, death . . .  The narrative should be essentially true, for a narrative essay is a non-fiction genre.

The element of suspense, a question(s) hanging over all, tends to make readers stay tuned, so try to build that element in; make the reader want to know what happens next, and why, but don't give it all away too quickly.

The reporter's basic questions are a shorthand means of remembering to get the essentials:

What happened?

Who was involved?

When?

Where?

Why did this happen?

How did it happen?

Short narratives may be structured chronologically,  they may begin in the middle of things, or they work from the end back toward the beginnings of the events in focus; they may even of course move back and forth, as if showing how memory itself refuses to play in strict chronology.  However you decide to structure your piece, it is a good idea to build into the fabric strong images in fairly simple, specific, concrete terms rather than with overly complicated, too general or abstract terms.  You want to pull the reader through the window of the letters and words on the page into the sensuous, three-dimensional world of life as we see, hear, smell, touch, feel, and  think about it.  

Figurative language–metaphor, simile, personification–can be charming.  

Example:

    Once on a Wednesday excursion when I was a little girl, my father bought me a beaded wire ball that I loved.  At a touch, I could collapse the toy into a flat coil between my palms, or pop it open to make a hollow sphere.  Rounded out, it resembled a tiny Earth, because its hinged wires traced the same pattern of intersecting circles that I had seen on the globe in my schoolroom–the thin black lines of latitude and longitude.  The few colored beads slid along the wire paths haphazardly, like ships on the high seas.

 --Longitude, David Sobel

Here is another example, of the sight of a mustache (a bit overdone perhaps!): 

 A truly terrifying sight, a thick orange hedge that sprouted and flourished between his nose and his upper lip and ran clear across his face from the middle of one cheek to the middle of the other. . . . [It] was curled most splendidly upwards all the way along as though it had had a permanent wave put into it or possibly curling tongs in the mornings over a tiny flame. . . . The only other way he could have achieved this effect, we boys decided, was by prolonged upward brushing with a hard toothbrush in front of the mirror every morning.

Special Effects:  Heighten the effect of seeing by making what is familiar appear unfamiliar or strange and interesting by shifting perspective–the extreme close up, the distance shot, the fragment or part that puts the whole, be it a place, person, or thing, in a strong light.  Use distinctive language in so far as possible, without making the whole fussy or tediously detailed.

Names:  Be mindful of the power of names to particularize and connote ideas and images and provide aural zing:   Huckleberry Finn, Scarlett O'Hara, Venus Williams, Miss Bee ; Kissimmee, Florida; Bountiful, Utah, Itta Bena, Mississippi.  The names of people, places, and things can be intriguing and interesting sources of sound and word play.

Dialogue:  dialogue may help to advance the action, set a tone, illustrate character and key ideas or points, and advance the action.    It is a dramatic device and pulls readers into a virtual present.

Exercise:  Review Lewis Nordan's essay.  Discuss in a paragraph the first four paragraphs, his opening.  What is his strategy?  How many lists can you find worked into the paragraphs?  Identify what changes between paragraph 4 and 5.  What does the teapot represent for Nordan?   What is the central conflict of his story?
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Refining the Draft Idea:  Writing teachers and textbooks often refer to the angle or hook or slant as a way of luring readers to the subject article or book.  Readers have different needs and tastes, of course, but there's nothing wrong with familiarizing yourself with the common types of bait that show up in titles or headlines and lead paragraphs of various kinds of essays.  So here are a few:

*Adrenaline                          *Numbers

*Amazement                         *Promises

*Brand-New                         *Secrets

*Detailed                               *Sexy

*Funny                                  *Superlative

*Location                              *Combination

*Money

*Newsy

Exercise:   identify any slants used in the course of reading through today's New York Times or other source.  Actually, you might enjoy what is now a regular feature at the NYTimes- Modern Love-which features short personal narratives on romantic love. (http://nytimes.com/)

Ways of Beginning:

*Anecdotal or case history (to create a human interest appeal)

*Direct Address

*Factual

*Journalistic

*Mythic/Poetic

*Quotation

 *Thematic

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Practice Work:  For practice and development of the narrative piece, we will  compose a sentence list in class (in this case, of memories or associations, and how to integrate and punctuate the various elements.)  See the handouts for examples.  Here's another, by Charles Bukowski:

      Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Bach, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice. 

― from  Women

Review:  A composition of even a single paragraph must organize itself around an idea, stated or implied, which is the thesis or topic idea.  The common modes of organization include description, narration, illustration, cause/effect, definition, comparison/contrast, classification, and argument. We will look at the means by which Lewis Nordan organizes "The Dime-Store Teapot," an essay about "solitude and remembering."  If there's time, too, we'll look at Gloria Naylor's "The Uses of a Word," on how she first heard the infamous "N" word.

-----------------------------What is a thesis?  A thesis is a single sentence statement of the point you intend to describe, explain, illustrate, argue or prove.  In narrative work, however,  the thesis is not necessarily explicitly stated. It is implied or hinted at strongly, represented indirectly.  So where is the thesis otherwise to be found?  Typically, by convention, teachers ask that it appear by the last line of the opening paragraph.  It thus provides a focus and a clear direction and means of selection, for whatever does not in some way help to advance the thesis idea, may not belong in the essay at all.  When you and your readers know what your point is, you and they can follow the logic of your development, the order and arrangement of supporting topics and personal commentary.  It is a good idea to have a draft statement of your thesis in view so that you stay on point as you draft an 
essay.  Build key words into the thesis statement to provide you and readers references to what lies ahead.  A thesis controls to some extent what will appear in the essay and creates an obligation on your part to follow through on its promise, for it creates an expectation.  

Samples:  

Religion is no longer the uncontested center and ruler of human life because Protestantism, science, and capitalism have fundamentally altered our view of the world.

In their attempt to understand human nature, many novelists become excellent psychologists.

A good university education is one that is useful, fulfilling, and challenging.

Being a reporter means conducting interviews at odd hours and in strange places.

Trust is the foundation of all lasting relationships.

Time will reveal truths we could never anticipate when young.

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Syntax

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Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogroves, 

And the mome raths outgrabe.

                                     –Lewis Carroll's opening lines in "The Jabberwocky"

Sentence practice is good.  Last week we looked at the basic structure–noun subject-verb predicate-noun object-indirect object.  English syntax consists fundamentally of a grammatical subject and verb, and the object and indirect object of the verb.  The subject is typically a noun or noun phrase or a verbal functioning as a noun.  The verb is the base of the predicate and operates as a linking mechanism (no action:  I am a teacher) or designates the action put in play by the subject, which we can think of as an actor or agent.                                                                                                                     

            The direct object is usually a noun or noun phrase following the verb and that receives or takes the action of the verb.  We do well to keep subjects and verbs at the head of a sentence, and together (uninterrupted by modifiers), with the subordinate elements following after (naturally, there are exceptions).

               

Three simple sentences:

Bill struck the match.  I lit the cigarette.  We shared a smoke one warm summer night.

Here is a poem that expresses the relationship (sort of) between syntax elements:

     One day the Nouns were clustered in the street.

     An adjective walked by, with her dark beauty

     The nouns were struck, moved, changed.

     The next day a Verb drove up, and created the Sentence.

           – Kenneth Koch, "Permanently" (referenced in Stanley Fish's How to Write a Sentence)

Can you identify the parts of speech and independent clause units in the lines above?

Words exist in logical relationships with each other, and discovering those relationships will help you understand syntax better, and the sentences you create.

Not all verbs take an object, but for now we will play with the basic structure and build ever more layered sentences by adding predicate elements, modifying words, phrases, and clauses to the first simple sentence (independent clause), as in the following examples, in which the main clause is italicized:  

A customer shot me a dirty look, long and low, as if I had in some way offended her deeply, though I could not but think myself innocent, and unjustly vilified. 

In the following example, the main clause and the subordinate elements are laid out in outline:

1.The women whispered late into the night,

     2.  their voices rising and falling softly,

           3.  while I,

                4.  a mere six years old,

                     5.  dreamed of a time when I, too, would have a world as rich as theirs seemed to  

                           me then.

We punctuate for two reasons:  one, to order the pace of reading; two, to separate words, phrases, and clause into groups for the sake of clarity and readability and emphasis.

  The period has been described as a stop sign; the comma a speed bump; the semi-colon a "rolling stop";  parentheses a detour; the colon a flashing yellow light indicating something's up ahead; and the dash as "a tree branch in the road"(Writing Tools, Roy Peters Clark).  Punctuation rules have been standardized, but options and play remain.  We'll review today beginning with the comma, a mark that indicates where one reading aloud would likely pause, and which sets off modifying words and phrases and clauses by asking one to slow down and see the constituent units.   The semi-colon works well to set off large blocks of text, particularly where commas are already at work; and to show the contrast between cause elements on either side in balanced and parallel sentence constructions.

Sentence Patterns

In the additive or loose pattern,  the main clause appears up front, followed by additional modifiers.

   Ex:  We want time to grow, to work, to play, and to love before we die.
             The film American Hustle runs nearly three hours of intricate plot twists, reversals, and surprises illustrating the "art of human survival."

In the periodic pattern, the main clause is delayed to the end position by modifiers placed up front.
  Ex:  If she had not been anxious and distracted, she might have seen the oncoming car.
          Giant snakes, rushing rivers crossing strange, distant lands, trains and tracks running who knows where, mountains and winding roads, old boyfriends–all these visit me in dreams.

In the interruptive pattern, the main sentence idea is interrupted, the break coming between subject and verb or between verb and the remaining predicate elements:
  Ex:  The students, working diligently at their seats, heads bent in concentration, barely noticed the sounds of morning traffic in the street below.

          The clouds, which had all day obscured the mountain peak,  obeying now some secret force, parted to admit the sun's last rays.

Punctuation Homework:

*The following URL leads to an excellent article on the common errors of comma placement:

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/21/the-most-comma-mistakes/

  

I have created a practice set of sentences to illustrate comma placement in additive structures where some information is essential and some non-essential, as discussed in the article above.  I will distribute it in class.

Complete also the set of exercises on using possessive constructions and the apostrophe to show possession:  http://bartelby.com/141/

For Review:  http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/   (comma use rules)

                http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/04/    (sentence fragments)

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In-class homework for next week:  Summary Exercise:   summarize briefly the essay given in handout by author Cheryl Strayed ( in 250-300 words and in accord with the guidelines set forth and illustrated on the handout passed out in class).  

Select material for quotation on the following bases:

1        *the wording is particularly memorable, to the point, and not easily paraphrased

2       * the passage expresses an author’s or expert’s direct opinion that you want to emphasize

3        *the passage provides example of the range of perspective

4        *the passage provides a constrasting or opposing view

Format quotations in the following manner:

       Brief quotations of no more than three lines should be worked into the text within the usual margins from left to right, and enclosed by quotation marks. Use a signal phrase or tagline to introduce them, followed by a colon or comma. 

       Longer passages, four lines and more, should be set off in block format, indented and aligned 10 spaces from the left margin, with no quotation marks but those that may be internal to the passage itself.

Examples of Summary with Supporting Quotations:  

"In the Arcadian Woods," by George Makari, a psychoanalyst, he reveals that it is no easy matter to diagnose the specific cause or source of an individual's anxiety, for it is a "quintessential mind-body phenomenon" with complex roots scientists have yet to unravel.  Since the 17th century, when the first modern medical descriptions of anxiety were recorded, the mystery has only deepened:

(2 tab stops, align text) 

Anxiety disorders are now associated with complex epigenetic models, the                        transgenerational transmission of trauma, a neuroscience for fear conditioning, and even a   pediatric infectious illness that triggers auto-immune mechanisms and results in obsessive   compulsive disorder.  

Note:  Do not use quotation marks around block indented quotations.

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In a poem by Tony Hoagland called “The Best Moment of the Night,” he writes about an informal dinner party.  The human guests are gathered around a table and beneath it is a dog whose eager affection strikes a chord in the poet and creates a “moment” (line 1).  The dog, “down near the base of the butcher-block table/ just as the party was getting started” (lines 2-3) makes him understand something about his own isolation.  He seems lovelorn, and when that dog offers up its belly to be petted–“the vulnerable belly” (line 18)– he momentarily admires it, and is warmed by it, for the dog is still “panting, and alive, and seeking love”(line 19) in a way that he, as a human, can’t readily do in front of the gathered guests. 

Lines of poetry should be integrated into the text body unless greater than three successive lines, and slashes and line citations used in text as references.

Integrated prose quotation from “An Ocean of Plastic” (full text available on the web):

       In the article “An Ocean of Plastic,” Kitt Doucette describes the threat of plastic to all marine life, and perhaps human life: “Even small organisms like jellyfish, lanternfish and zooplankton have started to ingest tiny bits of plastic. These species, the very foundation of the oceanic food web, are becoming saturated with plastic, which may be passed further up the food chain.”  The fish we eat may contain the residues of these ingested plastic particles, and thus may pose health risks. He explains in more detail below, citing also the authority of a leading marine biologist:

[. . .] the chemical toxins concentrated in the [plastic] waste lodge themselves in the animals’ fatty tissues, accumulating at ever increasing levels the higher you go up the food chain. It isn’t clear yet if these chemicals are reaching humans, but PCB’s and DDT are know to disrupt reproduction in marine mammals. In humans they have been linked to liver damage, skin lesions, and cancer. “The possibility of more and more creatures ingesting plastics that contain concentrated pollutants is real and quite disturbing,” says Richard Thompson, a British marine biologist who has been studying microplastics for 20 years.

Use brackets [ ] around any material you add or for the sake of clarity or any necessary

change to the original , such as a verb tense, a pronoun, or an ellipsis (to abbreviate the length of the passage). The source title, be it an article title in a magazine or newspaper or that of a website from which you have borrowed material, should be identified at the outset in your introduction or first use of the material. The year or date of such information should be recent, or otherwise noted.

*MLA citations and works cited will not be necessary for initial assignments.